This was an amusing article in today's paper by Daniela Elsa.
She reviewed a book called 'How not to Cookbook' (hownottocook.co.uk).
A Few Handy Ideas:
- Do not boil avocado. It tastes like soap.
- Do not fry chips wearing shorts.
- Do not start making a pie when your guests are coming in an hour
- Do not cook if you want a clean kitchen.
- Never put fish in your freezer in a developing country and go away on vacation not realising there will be a power cut while you are gone.
- Do not try to make a pie for the first time unsupervised.
- When icing a cake around other people, do not lick the spatula.
- Do not answer the phone while frying bacon.
- Never cook naked. You will get hot fat on your chest and you never know what will happen from behind.
- Do not try to peel almonds with a knife. It takes about 30 minutes and two bleeding fingertips to peel about four almonds. Rather, scald with boiling water and peel off the skin easily.
- Do not forget to invite guests to your dinner party.
- If a dish is unsuccessful, do not throw it out of the window.
- If you are lucky enough to remember all the ingredients, but then forget the cooking time, you were probably born to eat out.
- Putting things in water does not count as marinating.
I have a friend who could add to that list.
- Don't tell your guests that you buried the failed pumpkin soup in the front yard.
That happened about 18 years ago. Thinking about it still makes me smile!